PARCHHAIYAAN...

Yoon to waqt ne badal diye hain rukh hawaon ke
Toofanonke thapedon mein toot chuke hain kai sapne
Dhool ki ek parat si jam gayi hai jazbaaton pe
Kitne paraye se lagne lage hain, jo kabhi the apne

Na hum kabhi ye samajh paye the, ki humsafar woh hue kaise
Na aj ye jante hain ki rahein kab kaise juda hui
Jante hain to hum bas itna, ki shayad woh roshni ek khwab hi thi
Woh mile bhi the andheron mein, chhod bhi gaye is se pehle ki subah hui

Jeewan bhale hi theher gaya, par waqt to daudta rehta hi hai
Ab to dhundli si bhi ho chuki hain, kai raatein kai baatein
Fir bhi yakayak, kai bar, kisi kone se ubhar aate hain woh
Aur fir ek bar bheeg jaati hain, hamari aankhein hamari raatein

Kai bar in badli si gair hawaon ke beech
Ek apni si hawa bhi chal padti hai
Aur lagat hai sab kuch mano kal hi ki bat ho
Yaadon se dhund jab jab chhatti hai

Os ki boondon se naazuk hain woh lamhe
Chhoone ko haath badaoon to gayab woh ho jati hain
Fir ek bar ek khali haath hum kheech lete hain wapis
Fir ek bar labon pe hamare siskiyan aa jati hain

Unki yaadein bhi bas ek bhram hain unki tarah
Kshan bhar ko jeewan mein aati hain, aur jeena bhula jati hain
Yoon to waqt ki hawaon ne badal diye hain rukh
Fir bhi ateet ki kuch parchhaiyan aankhon mein utar hi jati hain...

SHADOWS...............

I've always been scared of shadows. No, not really of darkness. Darkness is a friend; it conceals everything you want it to-all the secrets, everything that's ugly, dirty and gory. And it does its job well too. Black has forever been the colour of the unknown, the colour of mysticism, the colour of evil (even though Rani Mukherjee insists on calling black the colour of knowledge!!).
And black is the colour of the shadows, I happily trample underfoot whenever they fall in front of me. But they do not vanish. From God-knows-where, but very soon they appear walking right beside me, threatening to swallow me any moment, and i can never run away from them. But the scariest are those that seem to grow on me all the time...creeping, slow but growing larger and stronger every second.
I dont know if they are really scared of light or not-everytime I try and run towards light to take refuge, they seem to follow me, and light can never kill them, even though they seem to diminish in stature somewhat- but I believe they definitely are scared of darkness, because they assimilate completely in it. That's why darkness is a friend-an enemy's enemy!

Some people say shadows are your best friend-they always walk beside you, never leave you alone. I'm confused on this one...I think darkness is a better friend. Shadows are darkness's children, evidence of darkness being alive and with us even when everything looks bright and happy. When the sun is out, we forget the darkness that has shared many of our woes, tears, curses, fears and secrets. We wanna leave it, forget it...but it never ever leaves us alone. It's existence is forever, reliable, constant, like pain. I love pain...

MORNING BLUES

Every morning is a start they say...but start of what?
So many of our mornings are nothing except start of yet another couple of hours lost in the race against time , the struggle against the tempting bed or in the haste of preparing for the coming day..another bead in the string of monotony, samenesss, routine. Just a bead mind you, not a start. Routines do not start, or end...the chain of montony is endless.

Occasionally time and destiny act as the blacksmiths and break a link or two, or join the existing chain with a new one, of a new routine, with a few fresh links, such that one routine breaks into another.

The predictability about the whole thing almost stinks. I want challenging starts to my days, and satisfied ends when I go to bed. I want killing suspenses, uncertainties galore, highs, lows, depressions, bouts of laughter, anything...something! I want to wake up this morning half believing it is my last, and sleep each night surprised with myself for making it to another night. I don't want to live a life so set that I always know what's most likely next...O cmon, not ALWAYS should I know everything.
It automatically creates expectations. I hate expectations.
So I imagine a situation where I can NEVER expect anything , even if I try, because all the time I'm expecting almost anything to happen.;)

Do I sound mad, sadist, masochist? Maybe, I am..So what!!:D
Hey BTW, Good Morning.....

I PROD MY WAY...

(ABSURD POETRY)

Sometimes i lie on my couch
With eyes shut and mind open
And a mood vacant or pensive
Revengeful or defensive

Beneath the shutters of my eyelids
I seek light in the darkness
A solution, or a problem I'm keen to detect
so I sit and reflect

With shut eyes I see all that's concealed
From me, with light falling on the pupil
I concentrate; one deep breath or two
Is all i need to do

Each time I realise the power of within
How the solution is obvious if we introspect
All myths, doubts, mysteries, lie within thyself
I can be happy, alone, myself

I love to question, everything, all the time
I even question why i'm so curious
Still, the questions I'd love asking my own mind
I could never find

They exist-but formless, wordless, shapeless
They just hit the walls of my mind with restitution
at the speed of light, so blink and you miss them
I always miss them

So I concentrate harder and stronger
To figure out the trivial within the plethora
The all-pervading storms set ires ablaze
And I prod my way in the maze

******

Exam Notes!!!:P

Aashiqui mein teri is kadar deewane hue jaa rahe hain
Har saans se pehle sau sau baar tera naam liye jaa rahe hain
ek din meri awaaz tere dil tak bhi pahunchegi
bas isi umeed mein ab hum jiye jaa rahe hain, jiya jaa rahe hain...

KYA KOI SUNEGA???

*****Some days back I spent a lot of time browsing through lots of stuff on the condition of women the world over, women atrocities and stuff like that...The research brought to my knowledge some atrocious incidents, gory pics, and many painful stories...Work kept me too busy then to be able to reflect, but after it was all over...I guess some of that pain had left a few burning thoughts in my mind, and when I put pen to paper...these words just came out..i'm not sure if they make too much sense...and ya, it may sound different and wierd coming from me, but then this blog is supposed to be a little bit of everything right ;)
So tell me Ted, if u expected this from me...and Raja, this one doesnt rhyme :P **********



Sargam ke bahaav se door
Mehekte hue har khwab se door
Jeewit har ehsaas se door
Mrityu ke prabhav se door
Har subah har saanjh se door
Roshni ke failaav se door
Asha ke ehsaas se door
Kshitij ke jhukaav se door

Vasna ki gehraiyon se
Dard ki parchhaiyon se
Sannate ke shor ko cheerti
Andhere ke garbh ko gherti
Atma ko sparsh karne wali
Bhayavah ko adarsh samajhne wali
Dehshat mein lipti ek aahat
Rooh ko bhedti ek sansanahat

Aisi ek cheekh nikalti hai be-awaz
Par kya koi sunega?

RUKSAT

yadon ke motiyon ko piroye rakha hai...
sapnon ko nazaakat se sanjoye rakha hai

daudte waqt ke kadam rok to nahi sakti magar
uski rahon ko in aansuon se bhigoye rakha hai

muthi mein in yadon ko band kar lena chahti hoon main
do unglion mein ek sagar, sama lena chahti hoon main

chahton ke is umadte sagar ko ab tak to bandhe rakha hai
sisakti saanson ke shor ko hansi mein dabaye rakha hai

kehne ko to baatein bahut hain magar, alvida kehne ko shabd nahi
shabdon ki shayad zaroorat bhi nahin, ehsaason ko ashkon mein duboye rakha hai

daudte waqt ke kadam rok to nahi sakti magar
uski rahon ko in aansuon se bhigoye rakha hai

An article i once wrote...

SMITTEN….

I've always managed to hear his voice above the din. The antenna of my ears are like almost forever tuned to him, to the faintest of his whispers that manage to stir my soul each time in spite of the scores of deafening noises fighting to be heard above one another, drowning everything else into a humdrum. Yet his groans have never failed to convey his presence to me. His chuckles, his whistles, the bells on his key ring that go tinkling on their free Merry-Go-round ride each time he swirls the ring on his fingers, the pop with which his lighter comes alive to announce the demise of yet another Classic that I’ve always hated to see on his lips behind the veil of smoke-I've never missed hearing any of these characteristic sounds of his that tell me...he's around!

I've always heard everything he's said, and remembered most of it. His words always ring in my ears loud and clear except... except for a couple of them. Those were the couple he shot at me this evening at Nescafe. He'd parked his bike and was walking straight towards me, looking right into my eyes even as I was, well, staring at him. I could hear his footsteps clearly even though he was walking on mud; I could even hear the clinking of the zippers on the pocket of his jacket that collided frequently as he walked. The incessant chatting about me had stopped, the birds had quitted chirping-everything was silent, still, and I was numb...

He said something. I saw his lips move (rather i was staring at them) but i didn’t hear anything. His lips motioned again. I waited for the sound waves generated to reach my ears and the perturbations to inform me what he was trying to say, but nothing happened. I waited, forever it seemed, until I felt a gentle shove on my right shoulder as he stepped aside and moved past me taking a detour .I stood like that for some more seconds, when the world came alive again. He was ten steps past me by now, loudly chatting with his friends. People all around me were talking, laughing, exchanging HIFI's as usual-some I thought stealing meaningful glances at me, while the man at the counter yelled “Maggi!!!” in his usual nonchalant tone. I heard him comment, “Arrey chhod yar, IIT mein absent-minded jantuon ki kami kahan hai!” as I left the place and dragged my heavy footsteps towards the RR. My friend feels I’m completely smitten with him, and a big fool because he probably doesn’t even know I exist. I don’t think so. Or maybe she’s right….

achha poetry time

An Orkut sponti:

Yoon naraz ho kar na jana yahan se,
yahan qayamat aa jayegi
tumahri to bas ek ada hogi
jaan to hamari jayegi!!!


One more...

Aur kuch der khafa rahe jo tum hamse
sach mano hum zindagi se khafa ho jayenge
jo na mane abhi to fir kabhi na bulana
kyonki maut ko manakar to hum wapis bhi na aa payenge


ek aur, one of my absolute favourites..

palkein jo jhukali apne nazrein meri bhi jhuk gayi
jis dhadkan ko saheja tha barson, woh ek pal mein kaise ruk gayi
ye kaisa khumar chhaya hai, ye kaisi nayi hai fiza
ki zindagi se milte hi zindagi ki raftar ruk gayi!!!!


I simply adore this one............

ro-o kuch is tarah ki ashk na bahe
saho kuch is tarah ki koi gam na kahe
labon pe aah, aur aankh mein aansu
roko kuch is tarah ki koi sitam na kahe!

SHE

and another one...

SHE...


There is more to her than meets the eye
She's deep as an ocean, vast as the sky
She says so much, yet says nothing
For it's a mysterious life, what she's leading
There are tears beneath her smiles
That could fill many a Niles
Yet all you notice is her lovely laughter
That infects you too, slowly or faster
She fills your life with smile and hope
And one day, you leave her and go
Taking along memories, some happy some sad
Of a stranger, who had once, made your heart glad
But strangers are to be met and forgotten
So soon you'll forget how close you had gotten
How easy it had been to talk your heart to her
How convenient, how soothing, like the touch of fur
You had wished she'd be there forever
To help, to console, to support your every endeavour
But then, when life was smooth, the wish, and the need, died away
Now she wasn't noticed, though she was there anyway
Actually she didn't even complain, so obviously she didn't feel bad
And slowly, u forgot her, like a passing fad
She was a stranger, who knew me, is all you'll say
While in her heart, unknowingly, you'll always stay
She'll still have those smiles, that hope on her face
Of course the tears would've increased, but that's beneath the surface
Sometimes you'd hate her, or discover how bad she is
How the care for you she shows off, is actually so intrusive
How mean and selfish she is, how much of a pretender
A liar, a flirt, a cheater, to hell you want to send her
How she talked to your enemy as nicely as you
How once she wasn't there, to listen to you
When you wanted her to, but of course she didn't know
When she should have known herself, what u wanted her to do?
So you'd either grow out her need, or hate her enough to forget
In the end another heartbreak, is all she ever gets
But that's ok, that's fine, that's also what she deserves
And coz she's lived so much, she must have steel nerves
There's nothing she ever said, or ever wanted to say
She's just to be met, liked, then hated and driven away!

ME..

a very old poem, abt me...was on my blog once...but had deleted evrtyhin then...someone asked me to put it, so i am repostin it:P

ME?????

The world calls me weird
I call the world mad
I'm not just weird, I'm the weirdest
But so what,is that bad????
People often ask me that
Why am I the way I am?
"as if I know!!!",why, I bet
even He wont understand
He has made me so different
So extreme, such a psycho!
And u know why He sent me to earth
Coz what had become of me,
even He didn't know!!!!
Sometimes I'm such a kid
Really silly, really stupid
Otherwise I'm everyone's mom
One thing's sure,my life aint insipid!
It's understandably hard to fathom
My unpredictable mood swings
I move like a pendulum, hyperactive to depressed
It's just one of those reason-less things!
I speak too much, and mostly nonsense
I keep getting one of those psycho fits
I'm funny, I'm incredible, I'm foolish, I'm bugging
But basically- I'm such an antique!
But I am the way I am
Good or bad-I cannot help it!
People may call me Nautanki or Psycho
But so what??? C'mon I like it!!!

Today's Psychology lesson

This is how I put it:

"Every Human being is like all other human beings, like some other human beings, and also like no other human being!"

Ye Nazrein!

Pehle bas char lines likhi thi, kal socha poori kar doon....kisi ne mangi thi mujhse, uski zaroorat thi, mera shauk....likh diya fir kuch...hopefully uska kam ho jayega:)

YE NAZREIN!!!

kabhi umeed se chamak uthti hain
kabhi haya se jhuk jati hain
ya to tumhari yaadon mein khoyi rehti hain
ya fir tumhari nazron mein kho jaati hain

kabhi to dhhondti hain tumhi ko har jagah
fir bhi tumse milte hi khud ko tumse churati hain
kabhi dard ke mare karah uthti hain
aur kabhi to khushi mein bi chhalak jati hain

palkon se dhak loon to sapne ate hain tere
palken uthaloon tab bhi tujhpe hi atak jati hain
teri mohabbat ka gharaunda ban gayi hain
jagte sote bas tera hi chehra dikhati hain

kabhi bhavna ka mahal, kabhi ishq ki gazal
kabhi gusse ka jhoota parda ban jati hain
kaisi gustakh hain, ki ibadat bhi teri karti hain
aur kabhi kabhi tujhe pana bhi chahti hain!!!!

*****