A Little Bit Of Everything!!!

It's only WORDS... ..for words are all I have, to take your heart away!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

My Last Poem

No more words. Nothing, never.
There've been too many already.
Just a silence-long, deep, eternal
A decay-painful, slow, but steady.

The only window to my mind still open
Is contaminating the machine; I'm getting rusty
This window needs to be shut down now
The storms are too strong and too dusty.

We've seen together moments good and bad
Some special, some anguished, of praises and fights
For all the love, the friendship, the admiration
And equally the pain-I'm as grateful as one might

Maybe you'd complain there's too much unsaid
And unheard, still, the decision won't bend
I beg you not to protest or plead, just remember
All things, good and bad, come to an end.


Incarnations cease to exist, but existence cannot.
Though I'd hate to, but I'll still be-invisible, but around.
I've lived for long, undeservedly, in your hearts
& As I empty this crazy home, it's only grief, and gratitude, profound.

Do me a last favour, fulfill the last wish
Do not wipe my tears, and do not question why
and I promise to stay as near to your heart
As u want; Just call my name out, for once,try


I'll live in the words I'm robbed off today
In coincidences from past, in every empty look
Tomorrow may not exist, today may be oblivious
So I'll be yesterday-until you chose to shut the History book


I beg you not mercy for selfishness unabated
I beg you not pity to this selfish piece of matter
Ibeg you not a chance to explain or justify
I just beg you to move on, and forget Envisager





Hi everyone,
I know it may come as unexpected to most of you, but the words above say it all I guess, and whatever they don't, would never be said. Those who can, would have already heard them.
I wanna thank everyone who ever came to this blog, who ever read anything i wrote, and to all those who cared to comment, criticise and appreciate. A 3300+ hit count in 30 days and perpertual comments prove that.
THANX A LOT.
I'm not gonna delete this page...I can't for I have loved it too much.
But I won't post again.
Or appear on blogging circles.
Still, I'll be around, for I don't have a choice.
Incarnations cease to exist, but existence cannot
If u ever liked or loathed anything on this page, or the person behind it, do me a favour. Do not ask me to change my decision, for i won't.
I beg you not to protest or plead- the decision will not bend
Anyway, if u ever regarded me as a friend, dont be afraid..u r not gonna LOSE me. I'll be there, always, as long as I am.
I guess have said enough, more than I needed to.
No more words. Nothing, never.
There've been too many already.

GoodBye
Lots of love and luck
Envisager


Tuesday, June 07, 2005

BLACK BEAUTY

Just struck my mind
What if I were blind?
What if I did lack
A colour in life, except black?
What if I could have cried
But couldn't, even if I'd tried
See my own tear
A drop of water, crystal clear?
What if I never knew
How a tiny drop of dew
On a shimmery leaf appeared
And shone through when sunlight steered?
What if I could have felt
Touched and also smelt
The wet sand and the grasses tall
But never saw the raindrops fall?
What if I couldn't take a step
Without help, or without falling ahead
Me, goggles and a stick
Tightly and helplessly, trying to grip?
What if I didn't know
Dark and light, high and low
Just lived an entire life-dragged & slow
And never ever saw a rainbow!
What if I never "saw" a smile?
If the word "mirror" meant "futile"?
If I never saw little kids play?
All this(pause)would've been GOOD, I'd say!!
For then, all the filth, all the malice
The pain, the evil, the avarice
Would have been lost in the darkness of sight
For evil is evil only when something's bright
Then from my "eyes"
"Bad" would be as good as "nice"
Atleast I'd have a reason to believe
The world is a wonderful place to live!!

Equal Love

I love equally

Both my hands.
The waters and the sands.
Seasons one and all.
People big and small.
The left and the right.
The dark and the bright.
Colours in the rainbow.
A friend and a foe.
Smiles and tears.
All my fears.
Failure and success.
Leisure and stress.
Every musical note.
Every step I strode.
All the fingers of my hand.
The spicy and the bland.
Every single emotion.
Placidity and tension.
The journey and the destination.
My home and my nation.
Every single breath.
Life and death.
MAYBE I DONT, BUT I WANT TO.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

MY STORY...

This is not an ordinary story. Simply because it's not about ordinary people. And it's not an ordinary tale of love and hurt, faith and deceit. It is my story, and it's a story about me. As a rule, everything besides me in this story is irrelevant, unimportant and trivial. And I'm taking this liberty to declare such because this place is "exclusively" my domain- perhaps the only place in this Universe where I own some kind of importance. Which further tempts me now to take "all" the importance there is, and to do unto the world what it has done to me all the time elsewhere. I, therefore, propose to reduce the sigificance of everything besides myself to zilch, the same way as everything and everyone reduced mine to a farce outside the realm of this story.
Ha! As u reap so u sow!!
This is what I call the "Law of Balance". Somehow, someday, everything evens out.

I was born once upon a time-someday at some place- but the details are not important. I had a family and a home, and I consider myself lucky for that. But me and my family always let each other down, and I never got a separate room for myself in that home-not until I got maried, but by that time I had moved to a rented flat, and even then I was forced to share it with an intruder. As a little kid, life was very unfair to me. Not that it remedied its behaviour in the subseqent years, but perhaps it hurt more as an infant.

As if born in a lower middle class family of seven or eight members was not enough, I had to contend with being caught between two brilliant elder brothers, and two talented younger sisters. We grew up together, but perhaps they grew up better, and faster. Fate was once again cruel to me- for I was but a very very ordinary child. My siblings though, were blessed with better brains and more talents than me. And I was nothing but the black horse of the family. I suspect that is the reason my parents loved them a lot, and hated me equally, for I was but a useless student, who barely struggled though his high school despite all the tuitions.

My eldest brother was an ace cricketer, and played for a long time for some high-level team. Once upon a time I had wanted to be like him. But soon everyone realised I was pathetic at the game, and then- then they laughed at me. I remember clearly the tears in the eyes of a nine-(or ten)year old surrounded by a crowd of mocking eyes and scolding tongues for a distasteful display. Later that night my brother had come to me and tried to console me. He asked me to practise with him the next morning; I threw a vase kept next to me at his face. He still retains a two-inch scar on his face.

I had my reasons for doing that, but at that time, nobody understood- my parents beat me black and blue and locked me in the store for two days without food- and now, I don't care to explain. This is my story and nothing else is important, not even those reasons.

At the age of 16, tired by my own failures and the successes of those around me, one day I stole some money from the home and ran away. Some fifteen-twenty days later the police caught me stealing food from a restaurant and handed me over to my family. My Dad beat me up like hell and my mom never spoke to me after that day-not till her death. My crime was too big; she was too upset that I had stolen and sold her favourite gold earings.

By then, I had already failed once at the matriculation examination and after this incident, I dropped school and foud work in a garage.

By nature, I was basically a loner. I never had any real friends to speak of, and I preferred being within myself most of the time. The three years at the garage were the happiest time of my life. But life can't tolerate being good with me for long. My Dad died of some disease, and mother had a paralytic attack. Not that I cared, but there was suddenly more responsibility on me ,which I hated, for my brothers were in another town pursuing their careers. They came one day, and forced me to learn up accounting work, and got me a petty job. I had no option but to do that, for I had no strength to oppose them. I hated myself then, and them.

Then, I don't know when I changed into an angry, irritable, discontented man. Some years later, when they saw me happier with my liquor and gambling, I was forcefully maried off to someone. I tried to be happy and nice after that, but couldn't. I tried to love her, but couldn't. Some years later, she ran off with my neighbour and left me a rowdy son. Why, I don't know and I don't care.

Even then, nobody sympathised with me. People at work laughed at my back, and since family did't exist for me, I was left alone. One day, drunken and inebriated, I broke my son's skull. The neighbours took him to the hospital, and me to the police station. When I returned after a month, I learnt he had been sent to an orphanage. Good riddance, I said.

I never heard of him after that, until some hours ago, when a young guy in his teens came to me and said that he was my son. I didn't reply, and he swiftly finished his job and left. And now, here I am, lying peacefully for the first time in my life in the middle of the road.
Dead or alive? That's not important.

Somehow, someday, everything evens out.

Jhilmil

Jhilmil si ek ladki
Hawa ke sang-sang lehrati si
Kuch-kuch naraz zindagi se
Aur kuch-kuch zindagi pe muskurati si

Kinare ki lehron si uth-ti bikharti
Nav ke jaise dagmagati si
Andhere mein pani ke kinare kahin
Jugno-on ke sang jagmagati si

Khayalon mein khokar laton ko apni
Kabhi suljhati kabhi uljhati si
Nazakat se zulfon ko jhatak fir apni
Dheeme se palkein jhukati si

Chanchal si nazrein has padein jab achanak
Us hasi ko haya se fir chhupati si
Jo naraz ho to aankhen failakar
gusse se moonh fulati si

Kabhi lafz ke sahare choo leti dil ko
Kabhi nazron se hi dastanein sunati si
Kabhi mushkilon se na darne wali
Andhere mein masomiyat se ghabrati si

Jhilmil si woh ek ladki
Parde ke peechhe sharmati si
Ek pal ko nazar milake mujhse
Nazar ke sath dil bhi churati thi.

Monday, May 30, 2005

kuch kuch samjha to hai tujhe zindagi, par ab tak tujhko jiya nahi
ye zeher ab tak bas chakh ke dekha hai, ab tak piya nahi
hatheli pe sajaya hai seene se nikal, par dil ab tak diya nahi
pyar ke ru-ba-ru to khadi hoon, par pyar ab tak kiya nahi

Maybe...

If you give me back the control of my life
Maybe I'll stop caring for you
If you stop coming to my dreams each night
Maybe I'll stop thinking of you
If you remove the imprint of your name from my heartbeat
Maybe I'll stop praying for you
If you erase from my mind "our" memories sweet
Maybe I'll stop remembering you
If you cease being your nice and thoughtful self
Maybe I'll stop liking you
If you can make me breath once without yourself
Maybe Ill learn living without you
If you can separate yourself from my soul
Maybe I'll stop feeling you within
If you can make me deaf-totally, as a whole
Maybe I'll stop hearing only you in a din
If you can replace my passion with malice
Maybe i'll be able to hate you and your thought
If you can take away from me my life
Maybe I'll stop loving you, or maybe not.

Friday, May 20, 2005

The Birthday Gift

“Whaat?? How can you be so mean, so unreasonable?” she yelled at him, shock and agony on her face.

He was still as indifferent as ever, as unresponsive. She was staring at him, and on the verge of freaking out completely. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and almost as if suddenly deciding otherwise, turned back to leave. She only managed to blink once in astonishment. He was gone!
She felt numb for thirty seconds, then suddenly came to life and shouted at the top of her voice “Hey wait! Listen. You can’t….”

She stopped midway. She knew he was already far away from the range of her sight and sound. Even if he weren’t, it wasn’t going to be much different. Her words were going to fall on deaf ears anyway. She knew this too well. She knew him too well.

Sigh…

Now this was what she called her daily dose of frustration. Only that this time it seemed like a double dose!

“Aaaaaaaawww Gaaaaawwwwwwwdddddddd”

She collapsed back on her bed, hands on her forehead, sandstorms beneath them.

How could he be so heartless?
Yes life was getting tough with him of late, but ups and downs are normal in relationships, right!
Maybe I should be more patient. Maybe this is temporary, maybe it’s due to stress…Oh whatever, but he should also understand na
. Gaaaaaaaawwwwddd...not today!

Memories of five years ago rushed back to her. It was a month after their engagement. They had spent the entire day together, and had such a beautiful time together she almost cried at the memory. It was her best birthday till date. And today he didn’t even remember her birthday this morning!!!
She had waited initially, but was actually so confident of his memory that she herself reminded him before he left for work.

“Oh darling, so sorry…Happy birthday. Many many happy returns of the day. Tell me what do you want?”
“A quiet romantic evening here at home tonight. Just the two of us. I’ll make the preparations.”
“Ok…I’ll be home!”

He had promised her the evening. She had hoped everything would become all right after that. And now?

A Single tear rolled down her cheek.

Somehow, after 15 minutes, she picked herself up to get ready. He had said 7 o’clock and she knew he meant it. He loved these stupid business-meetings-cum-parties of his, and he liked being on time always. She dressed up and sat down waiting-waiting for him to come, waiting to get lost herself yet again in a milling crowd of pseudo-civilized men and ladies, where she swayed alone from one corner of the room to the other with an artificial smile pasted firmly on the face, trying occasionally to spot the collar of his suit from amongst the middle of a noisy group that included as many hardcore money-makers as party-hopping socialites.

She didn’t have to wait too long. He returned earlier than 7; apparently his appointment with the lawyer had taken him less than he had expected. He looked happy, and was even more pleased to see her ready already. They didn’t talk much then or in the car- he had almost forgotten her birthday and his promise, he had almost forgotten her. Sometime later she asked:
“Where are we going”?
“Maurya!”

Maurya? Hadn’t he said Taj at home…anyway how does that matter…

They reached Maurya in another ten minutes. As they entered the lobby, his phone rang.
“One second darling, I have an important call. Why don’t you go in? The party is in Hall 2. I’ll just join you!”

Reluctantly, she moved in, alone. As she reached Hall 2, she was surprised to find it completely dark and silent.

Did I hear him wrong? He said hall 2, didn’t he?

She was about to turn back, when suddenly the huge central chandelier in the hall brightened up, and a number of bright, jubilant faces simultaneously broke into the birthday song.

“Happy birthday to you….”

She gasped in surprise and happiness. Right in front of her, some twenty feet away, little ahead of the chandelier was the birthday cake-her birthday cake. To its left stood her mother, her brother and his wife. To the right was her best friend with her two-year-old daughter and her husband. The hall was full of friends, acquaintances and relatives. It was a full-fledged rocking party- her birthday party! She slowly moved a few paces ahead.

How unlike my husband to plan a surprise party! How sweet, how thoughtful!
But where is the mastermind?

She turned back. He was standing at the door. She smiled back at him affectionately. He gestured her to move ahead. She reached near the cake, right below the huge chandelier. Congratulations and greetings poured to her from all corners of the room. It was time to cut the cake and begin the party.

Why isn’t he here yet? We should cut the cake now.
Ohhh...it’s such a beautiful party. I love him so much.
Everything is going to be all right now. I love him.
Where is he but?

She turned back for the second time. He was standing at the door.

What’s he doing there now?

“Come up” she whispered as she waved to him. He was looking straight into her eye, but didn’t nudge, or respond. She noticed his right hand move slightly in his pocket. It looked like some sign, but she didn’t understand.

What?

Suddenly he broke into a wry smile- very wicked, very cruel, and very victorious. Bewildered, she continued to stare at him as the wicked smile developed into a sly grin.

Thunder, darkness, a scream, a fall, the end!!!!!!!!!!!!
The chandelier had fallen right on her. She died in the accident.
“Na budape ki fikr na jawani ka guman hai
har khayal ek khwab har khwab bas dhuan hai
ek jam se doosre jam ke beech jiye ja rahe hain
bekhbar bemayana jiwan hai, madhoshi hi ashiyan hai
khud ka bojh utha nahi sakte, kandhe kamzor dil gamnama hai
kaun kehta hai , ae sakhi, hm is mulk ke naujawan hain
ae watanwaon, yoon apna kal in haathon mein mat saunpo
humein to ye bhi nahi maloom hamara apna kal kahan hai”

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

FINALLY, I'M IN LOVE!

MUJHE MOHABBAT HO GAYI HAI...

Chaha to bahut is dil se chahat karwana
kai bar koshish bhi ki, par dil na mana
ishq ke naam se hi ishq karte the abtak
par ishq ka matlab aj pehli bar jana
khayalon ki ashiqui hi diwangi bahut thi
pehle se hi pagal kehta tha mujhe zamana
mujhe lagta tha mohabbat cheez mere bas ki nahi
kalpanaon ke sahare hi gate the dil ka tarana
kabhi zamane se darte tha, kabhi khud hi se khaufnama the
na jane kaisa woh dar tha-andekha, anjaana
par sach poochho to talash thi humko
us ek dil ki, jis se mumkin ho dil lagana
Woh chehra jo dekhte hi aankhon mein sama jaye
woh nazren jinhe dekhte hi rooh tak chahe unko pana
is kashish is kasak ko dhoondna bahut chaha
par ab tak kahin nahi mila tha ye khazana
Aj magar ek nazar se aisi takrayi nazar
ki ab mumkin hi nahi lagta us nazar ko bhula pana
aj us dil mein jhanka to laga
haan isi dil ke kisi kone mein mujhe hai samana
haan aj mujhe mohabbat ho gayi hai doston
aj maine jeene ka sahi matlab hai jana

Thursday, May 12, 2005

WHO AM I?

What is the real me?
The sweet obedient daughter?
Who tries to love & to respect,
To abide by every rule
And to satisfy every aspect
To upkeep the honour
Yet saving herself the regret
But ends up hurting anyway
Her parents, her family and herself
Am I a living being
Or just a doll on the shelf?

What is the real me?
A diligent student,
A professional-to-be
Trying to know and to learn
With utmost sincerity
Trying to score, trying to win
Trying to be the Prof's pet
Yet failing in doing all this all the time
Each time I fail myself
Am I a living being
Or just a doll on the shelf?

What is the real me?
A sheer pessimist
Who stands at the edge of the cliff
Hoping to slip, to die
To get rid of life's tiff
Yet it's still a "hope" only
A hope-an optimist's domain
What am I-a sadist, a masochist?
Searching for happiness in the midst of pain!
Still i don't die, and still i fail to live
I only survive, only for myself
Am I a living being
Or just a doll on the shelf?

What is the real me?
A cheerful friend
Trying to be happy, trying to care
Hoping to spread happiness and relief
Hoping to be there
Pretending to be sweet,
To be likeable at times
Yet realising my inadequacy
Among thoughtful tears on lonely nights
I try to be with all
And in the end am alone not even with the self
Am I a living being
Or just a doll on the shelf?

What is the real me?
Just another girl
Who loves and is loved
Who dreams of stars and moons
And her own beloved
Who wants a lot out of life
Yet refuses to give at all
Riding on clouds of illusion
One day, sure to fall
Still going on to dream
Satisfying her material self
Am I a living being
Or just a doll on the shelf?

What is the real me?
The reflection in the mirror
That looks so alien
What do i read in those eyes
Lies- a million
A daughter, a friend, or a lover
A student, a professional-in-being
But where is the real me
A simple human being...
I've become a chameleon of sorts
But somewhere I've lost the real myself
Am I a living being anymore
Or just a doll on the shelf?


(THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS POEM IS A FRIEND'S POST. TO READ CLICK THE TITLE OF THIS POEM)

Aaj mujhe rone do...

Paana bahut kuch chahti hoon magar
Bas aaj khud ko kahin khone do
Karne ko baatein hain bahut magar
Bas aaj mujhe chup hone do
Jhinjhod diya hai zindagi ne aaj itna
Ye toofan shaant to hone do
Apne hi jiwan ki raahon mein kaante
Apne hi haathon fir bone do
Fir se bachpan jeena hai mujhko
Koi mere woh toote khilone do
Toote hue khwabon ko sametoon to kaise
Mujhe naye kuch swapan salone do
Pyar to khud se bahut kiya hai
Aj khud se nafrat bhi hone do
Insaan thi shayad, ye kya ban gayi
Kuch der iska ehsaas to hone do
Sapne dekhne hain fir se mujhe
Kuch der ke liye bas sone do

Jeena main bhi chahti hoon shayad
Aaj magar mujhe rone do...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

EK KHAYAL

Dheemi si zindagi chal rahi hoti hai
Thodi mushkil thodi aasan thodi karkash thodi madhur
Wahi roz ke kam wahi roz ki masti
Thodi si chinta aur thoda sa saroor
Kuch kshan aaram karne ko lekin agar
Main aankh band kar let jaaoon jo zara
Sainkdon khayal umad ate hain man mein
Kya kiya, kya kaha, kaun mila, kya pada
Kabhi kisi bat pe has padti hoon yakayak
Kabhi koi yad rula deti hai ekdum
Kabhi bas kho jati hoon kisi aur hi jag mein
Khud se hi baant leti hoon har khushi har gam
Achanak hi ruk jata hai kisson ka karwan
Aur kuch kshan ke liye sab kuch chup ho jata hai
Kya woh bhi sochta hoga mere bare mein yoon?
Har roz mere dil mein yehi khayal aata hai...

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS...

(Hunted out this veeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy olddddd poem from somewhere, wrote it in class 8 I guess, for a friend who had a huuuuuuuuugggge crush on a friend of mine, and u know what..it worked!;)

Am posting it just like that, old memories i guess...don't expect anything out of this!)

BEAUTIFUL EYES

Your beautiful eyes...that inspire awe,
that reflect your assurance of love and care.
That sparkle with innocence-so pure so flawless..
And promise me you will always be there!
There is something about them…
- That leaves me bewildered,
Enraptured; though in a maze-
Of questions unanswered…
Those perfect pearls-as gleaming as ice…
They keep me alive-your beautiful eyes

Monday, May 02, 2005

I CANNOT DIE!

(An old poem, trash, but basically for all those who thing I can't write anything positive in my life!)

I cannot die, for I have loved
Life and its gifts, each rose and thorn
I cannot die, for I have lived
In the hearts of those whose friendship I adorn
I cannot die, for death is an end
But time doesn't end; I live with the time
I cannot die, for death is defeat
But I refuse to quit, so failure ain't mine
I cannot die, for my smiles will live
My words, my deeds will stay behind
I cannot die, for 'I' is just not this body
It is my soul, my heart, my mind
I cannot die, till the time
When my battle against fear is won
I cannot die, I'll only retire
From this world- when my job is done...

FAN MAIL!!!

Hi
This is something unbelievable people..but I've received a letter from a friend(and a very regular reader of this blog) who terms it as fan mail...and wants me to post it here.
I guess I can do this much, for whatever he's written is extremely sweet believe me.
Please do not believe his superflous praises, he likes almost everyting i write :(((
But then he's a very nice person, and one of my blog's most frequent visitors. So I owe it to him to post the letter unedited. The only liberty I'm taking is holding back his name here,I hope you don't mind.
Thanx a lot dear. Hope not to disappoint you in future.
Bye
Envisager
Dear Envisager,
Poetry has never been something that i enjoyed. I had
never read any poetry apart from the crap that i was forced to read as
a part of my school curriculum. Yeah ... i was mostly pained by poems,
though i enjoyed a few of them. The only thing i liked about poems was
the rhyme ... and since i could never ever think of rhyming lines, i
have always looked up to poets as some kind of extra terrestrial beings
... who could conjure rhymes out of thin air, at will.
All this changed from about Feb ... when i first visited your
crazy home. Here i found a real life person who could write like the
persons whom i had always looked up to with awe. I enjoyed reading ... and
always came back for more ... and you never disappointed this fan of
yours. From spontaneous two liners to long stories ... you had a lot to
offer. Somehow i enjoyed your Hindi creations more than the English ones
... and i have always felt that you write poetry better than prose. So
my order of preference has been Hindi poetry > English poetry > English
prose.
Since i don't have a poetic bent of mind, i usually refrain from
criticizing poems written by others, since they are certainly better
than anything i could have ever imagined. I guess many others feel the
same. So my response to your works has been one of the following :
1. Outstanding ... this holds for a select few like Tanha, Mohabbat aur
Chahat, SHE, My Answer and girlfriend. These are poems that i have
enjoyed reading ... not only the first time, but over and over again ...
even months later.
2. Very good. Most would come in this category ... as your poems and
stories are usually very good. Examples would be Strangers, Oblivion,
Ruksat and Ye Nazrein.
3. Average. Very few would come in this category. I guess i never could
understand these. The only one i can recall that would come in this
category is Smitten.
Of course i am not a literary expert ... so don't take my criticisms
too seriously.
Your poems are something i look forward to everyday. Could i possibly
ask for anything more ?
Maybe if you could write something on other themes. Even HOPE has some
pretty depressing lines. You have yourself admitted that its easy to
write on the topic of love and tragedy. But i am sure your imagination is
not restricted to this domain.
Well ... i guess i have concatenated the jist of most of my comments so
far.
Expecting some very good poems in future,
A fascinated fan

Kya Woh Katre Chhalkenge Kabhi?

(All right, this one is a lame attempt at a hindi translation of the previos "Droplet" poem, purely on public demand. But as a warning, please do not expect anything good-it's exam time!! And trust me, translation proved a more difficult job than writing for the first time!)

Kuch katre jeewan ke
Jeewan ke panjon se bachte-bachate
Dard se sani dastanon ko
Apne garbh mein chhupate-chhupate
Har katre ko bhigoye hai rakha
Ek un-sahe un-kahe ehsaas ne
Ek dukh ne jise ab kuch mehsoos hi nahi hota
Dard bhula diya dard ke nirantar aabhas ne
Kuch hai jo is dard ko ubharne nahi deta
Ek wajood tak ka haq nahi milta hai use
Shayad ek nischay hai jo jeewit hai ab tak
Shayad duniya ke riwazon ka lihaaz hai use
Aise hi bahut se bandhan, bahut si deewaron ke
Bawjood satah tak pahunche hain
Door se dekho to nainon ki chamak se lagte hain
Itne gehre andheron se jo guzre hain
Ab tak jeewan bacha hai jinme
Poochhna hai un jeewan ke katron se
Jo aankh ke ek kone main ghar kiye baithe hain
Kya chhalkenge kabhi woh nazron se?

Saturday, April 30, 2005

WILL THE DROPLETS FALL?

A few molecules of existence
Trying to cohese with their kind
Yet adhering to the alien for support
Life struggling to come to life
The few molecules of existence
Daughters of sorrow, sons of pain
The old, the fresh and the ancient
The obvious, the latent and the visibly faint
Held back by a spirit that isn't yet shattered
Just injured and wounded, indelibly deep
Held back against flooding the plateau beneath
And the valley of dimples with their agonising creep
A few still escape from the hidden depths
Of an anguished heart plunged in the dark
Knitted together by threads of hurt
Yet from a distance, just a dainty spark
At the corner of the eye, hiding themselves
For the sake of dignity and protocol
Beholding epics of pain untold
Wonder if the droplets will ever fall?
Har baat pe gussa aana tha shayad
Fir bhi har baat pe pyar hi aaya
Jitna dard bada, utna hi zyada
Khud ko us dard se mohabbat mein paya
Woh jo khushi ki jhalak, mujhe dard dekar
Tere chehre pe thi ayi, usne har dard bhulaya
Aur ek aansu bhi baha tha, par woh mujhe chot dekar
Tere haath pe lagi kharoch pe tha aya!