Ye Nazrein!
Pehle bas char lines likhi thi, kal socha poori kar doon....kisi ne mangi thi mujhse, uski zaroorat thi, mera shauk....likh diya fir kuch...hopefully uska kam ho jayega:)
YE NAZREIN!!!
kabhi umeed se chamak uthti hain
kabhi haya se jhuk jati hain
ya to tumhari yaadon mein khoyi rehti hain
ya fir tumhari nazron mein kho jaati hain
kabhi to dhhondti hain tumhi ko har jagah
fir bhi tumse milte hi khud ko tumse churati hain
kabhi dard ke mare karah uthti hain
aur kabhi to khushi mein bi chhalak jati hain
palkon se dhak loon to sapne ate hain tere
palken uthaloon tab bhi tujhpe hi atak jati hain
teri mohabbat ka gharaunda ban gayi hain
jagte sote bas tera hi chehra dikhati hain
kabhi bhavna ka mahal, kabhi ishq ki gazal
kabhi gusse ka jhoota parda ban jati hain
kaisi gustakh hain, ki ibadat bhi teri karti hain
aur kabhi kabhi tujhe pana bhi chahti hain!!!!
*****
YE NAZREIN!!!
kabhi umeed se chamak uthti hain
kabhi haya se jhuk jati hain
ya to tumhari yaadon mein khoyi rehti hain
ya fir tumhari nazron mein kho jaati hain
kabhi to dhhondti hain tumhi ko har jagah
fir bhi tumse milte hi khud ko tumse churati hain
kabhi dard ke mare karah uthti hain
aur kabhi to khushi mein bi chhalak jati hain
palkon se dhak loon to sapne ate hain tere
palken uthaloon tab bhi tujhpe hi atak jati hain
teri mohabbat ka gharaunda ban gayi hain
jagte sote bas tera hi chehra dikhati hain
kabhi bhavna ka mahal, kabhi ishq ki gazal
kabhi gusse ka jhoota parda ban jati hain
kaisi gustakh hain, ki ibadat bhi teri karti hain
aur kabhi kabhi tujhe pana bhi chahti hain!!!!
*****
posted by Phoenix @ 12:20 PM
9 Comments:
At Tuesday, March 01, 2005 3:00:00 PM,
Ravi Dixit said…
GAZAB
|GAZAB
GAZAB
aur kuch keh sakne ki halat nahin hai...
marvellous....
toooo good.... God like.
At Tuesday, March 01, 2005 7:27:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
cute.
|At Monday, March 07, 2005 12:49:00 PM,
Ritesh said…
ya to tumhari yaadon mein khoyi rehti hain
|ya fir tumhari nazron mein kho jaati hainGood kavita but maybe we can change a bit here.... khoyi rehti hu and kho jaati hu seem repetitions. How about 'gum ho jaati hu'? or smthing else..
At Monday, March 07, 2005 3:22:00 PM,
Phoenix said…
well, pehli baat to thanx Ritesh comment karne ke liye...finally apne meri poem padne ka time nikala:P
|jahan tak line ka sawal hai..gum ho jati doesnt go with the meter
and the repetition is intentional...ever heard of alliteration? ye bhi poetry form hai....ase hi rehne do..jiske liye likhe thi uska kam ho gaya:D...i'm satisfied!
@ted and Ravi....thanx, par thoda zyada nahi ho gaya;)
At Wednesday, March 09, 2005 11:35:00 PM,
Ritesh said…
ever heard of alliteration?No never heard of it! :D I actually have never read poems much. Never been my hobby. And is probably the first time I am critisising poems too :D.
|Even in songs, I am not a lyrics guy. I go for the music, its usually K* who reminds me of how good are the lyrics too :P
At Monday, March 21, 2005 9:32:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
what do u call alliteration in hindi?
|Is this some different form of alliteration? I heard the words need to be consecutive, is it so?
At Tuesday, March 22, 2005 11:40:00 AM,
Phoenix said…
alliteration in hindi is cammed "alankar"
|And there are various forms of alliteration...
repetition of word carrying same meaning at all occurences, repitition of letters, repetition of word with different meanings at each occurence etc etc(in short homonyms, homgrams, repetition etc...)
these are all form of alliteration, and are tools of poetry like..metaphors, pun and similies
At Tuesday, March 22, 2005 12:53:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
are you sure?
|i read in school that alliteration is a type of "alankar", just like metaphor and pun.
At Wednesday, March 07, 2007 3:24:00 AM,
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